Thoughts Should Never Be Spoken - Clearly
by thesquiglet
Summary: Small take on Matteuz's and Charlie's thoughts when they pick up the truth meteor. Because I like suffering!
1. Chapter 1

**I recently got into a new fandom - here it is! It smacked me right in the face, it may only have been 8 eps but wow what some eps were they. I watched the last ep and hahahahahaha there was pain.**

 **Discalimer: This does not belong to me - my pain and tears however definitely do. Class is owned by BBC 3 and created and written by Patrick Ness. I'm onto him.**

Matteuz could hear them all trying to figure out what this thing was, what it could possibly do but since the thing had gone up in smoke moments ago no one had wanted to go near it. How else would they find out exactly what this was though? Besides a metor at least. Okay then he shrugged his shoulders deciding there and then he'd help figure this out. This way as well if it was dangerous and he got hurt then at least no one else would. It'd just be him.

He'd gripped it ready to throw it when something had stopped him.

How had Poland landed here? In his detention room?

He saw his babcia the clearest - the one who had accepted him only leaving him with a tap on his knuckles for bing so stupid she wouldn't - this memory clouding his vision fully now. He'd only realised he'd said something not good and not of choice when he saw the look on the other's faces...and then on Charlie's.

What had he said?

Finally his brain caught up with his running mouth almost wanting to jump out into the abyss out there. He'd said he was afraid and well that was nothing new- Ever since leaving Poland, coming over here to Coal Hill and then the alien true fighting crime,he hadn't had time to pause and take stock of things or calm down. Apparently this meteor had decided to stir up some unwanted feelings, sort it all out for him and seemed happy to do so.

Something happened on Charlie's face again. He'd just admitted what he hoped he'd never say; that he was afraid of someone he loved.

No one needed their fears cast out for the world to see, their fears were theirs only. He felt another somewhere coming up from out of nowhere wanting to push it back with no such luck. His worst thoughts aired. More words came out of his mouth and every single one hurt.

"Sometimes my heart breaks just for the thinking of you" _Okay, well that definitely is true enough Matti, you've always wanted to protect the broken man in front of you. Everytime you've seen those restless or sad eyes, you've wanted to wrap him up and not let the world see him. Great now you sound like a moron tripping over your learned English and you sound like you might be crying, stop it stop it._

"But I'm also afraid of you" _No I know that, he doesn't, he doesn't need to. Matteuz stop, you're hurting him._

"You're human all over. But inside you're not human at all" _Oh god oh god look at the others, how they must think of you, you've said enough. You can do it. Fight back._

No how hard he tried though, he couldn't. The truth had to come out, it had to be said, the air must be cleared. The man's voice had begun to crack again but this time with fear creeping in closer and tears ready to appear. How could he be saying these things? The meteor clung to his hand with barely any sign of letting go until everything was up in the air.

 _Please stop, you have my truths now, just let me go, look at how they see me. I do not like being angry or sad. I do not like feeling of dread and loss of hope._

"Of what you're capable of. Of what you will do" _Good job, you're pushing them further away, not only hurting him but yourself, this may be the real truth but it should not be. You love him. What would Charlie do after this? I can't lose him. Not do I come back from this? But he is dangerous, I know this. He almost used the Cabinet last time, should I be right to feel like this? He had the ability to hurt people. Hurt me._

The tears had been building for a while now not just from his confession but from his feeling his heart physically breaking. He could have sworn it crack. He'd been about to admit something else surely when April had thankfully knocked it of his hands.

Matteuz felt drained, couldn't even face his boyfriend. He felt somewhat ashamed and somewhat relived it was out there instead of a few years down the line. All couples fought and this didn't exclude them even if both knew their situation was definitely...unique. He felt his presence and sense of mind back in the room focusing on the person he needed most and saw it facing back crestfallen.

How could he explain? How could they come back from this? Maybe they needed space from each other or something, they'd been spending a lot of their time together and maybe that's why it all slipped.

They'd be fine right?

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Here is the final piece of this story and I'm so sorry it's so incredibly short! I'm still finishing up Freefall but I hope this is an okay end. I hope you like it. 3.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Class, Patrick Ness does and this hurts because see I would actually let everyone be happy and with no Shadow Kin involved. And I would keep Ram safe, my poor boy.**

Everyone had dashed out as quickly as they could ignoring the pair of them. And when Miss Quill had appeared like that...

Well that was all when it really went to hell.

* * *

Charlie had wanted to sit down and talk it out. Talk about what they'd said and the fears that had all been presented. Talk like they said they would. Or not talk at all. Anything!

Matteusz had almost instantly bolted from the house the minute he saw Miss Quill settled and that they had enough food to last them for a week or so. Then he'd scarpered.

Clearly the truth hit him hard. Like Charlie thought about the human phrasing, it also hurt.

When had it all gone wrong?

When had he felt like there were more secrets kept between them and that nothing could be fixed?

Was it when he said that sometimes he hated Matteusz?

 _No!_

Charlie didn't need these thoughts.

 _You drove him away Charles._

 _See what you did, see how you can push away?_

 _How just like you._

Yeah this was a great way to spend the evening...but where was his alternative?

* * *

It was really early into the morning now and he now wished for Quill to wake up either so he could unleash his fury onto her and make someone else feel as bad as he did or and God help him if he ever said this out to loud to anyone's face but she was okay with advice sometimes to which he then gagged outwardly.

He didn't know which was worse;

Waiting for Quill to wake up

Watch the time

Or the ultimate worse one which was wait to see if Matteusz would return.

Yet here they were at 7am and nothing had happened. He hadn't even received a text to know that he was safe. He could be hurt or lost or hurt! He didn't need those images in his head of him bleeding out with his phone dead. But maybe Charlie hadn't earned the right to that text now he thought about it. He'd run as soon he got the chance.

 _And all because of you._

 _He's afraid of you remember?_

 _He's worried you'll mess him up and really when won't you?_

 _What a waste._

 _That's all he'll ever be of you, just afraid._

 _And you killed that prisoner so why wouldn't he be sick of you?_

 _I don't think I'll ever get him back._

 _How do I get him back?_


End file.
